«Balanchine has trained his cat to perform brilliant jet?s and tours en l'air; he says that at last he has a body worth choreographing for.»

«I keep hearing that Jesus Christ is coming, but nobody knows his tour dates»

«I don't do drugs anymore... than say, the average touring funk band.»

«I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people»

«Why is it so hard for people to believe that white people are poor?! I wouldn't say I lived in a ghetto, I'd say I lived in the 'hood. The same friends I had back then are the same people on tour with me now.»

«I'll give up this sort of touring madness certainly, but music-everything is based on music. No, I'll never stop my music.»

«I remember when I first came out on the Tour. I was hitting practice balls and Sam Snead and Bob Goalby were next to me. Snead said, 'Who in the hell is this guy? He has a loud mouth and an unorthodox swing.' Goalby said, 'Don't worry Sam, he'll linger but he won't last'.»

«I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.»

«And that's how the book grew. That is, I wrote that same story four times. None of them were right, but I had anguished so much that I could not throw any of it away and start over, so I printed it in the four sections. That was not a deliberate tour de force at all, the book just grew that way. That I was still trying to tell one story which moved me very much and each time I failed, but I had put so much anguish into it that I couldn't throw it away, like the mother that had four bad children, that she would have been better off if they all had been eliminated, But she couldn't relinquish any of them. And that's the reason I have the most tenderness for that book, because it failed four times.»