«He's good enough for me. I won't say he's a superhorse because you're never a superhorse until you're retired. Any horse can be beaten on any given day.»

«Nothing is more usual than the sight of old people who yearn for retirement: and nothing is so rare than those who have retired and do not regret it»

«Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not»

«Am I still in uniform? Then I ain't retired.»

«If I had my way books would not be written in English, but in an exceedingly difficult secret language that only skilled professional readers and story-tellers could interpret. Then people like you would have to go to public halls and pay good prices to hear the professionals decode and read the books aloud for you. This plan would have the advantage of scaring off all amateur authors, retired politicians, country doctors and I-Married-a-Midget writers who would not have the patience to learn the secret language.»

«Study until 25, investigate until 40, profession until 60, at which age I would have him retired on a double allowance.»

«FOOL, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscience, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught the nations war --founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting --such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand was warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave. And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization.»

«Then the woman went unto all the people in her wisdom. And they cut off the head of Sheba the son of Bichri, and cast it out to Joab. And he blew a trumpet, and they retired from the city, every man to his tent. And Joab returned to Jerusalem unto the king.»

«Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.»

«People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one.»