«And they always find in archeology ?a series of small walls.? Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. ?We?ve found a series of small walls, we?re very excited? I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and? a series of small wall people.? And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, ?Of course, the king and queen entertained here? 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there? A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater?? And you?re just watching, and going, ?You?re making this up, mate! You?re just pointing at a series of small walls, going, ?there, there? Tutankhamen playing banjo in there?? Don?t know if it?s true.?»

«We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; it?s a sort of detective thing, but it?s really true, you know it?s there? But it?s kind of slow on telly, it has this problem of, ?We?ve been here three weeks on live television, and we?ve taken off about a millimeter of top soil so far?? There?s men with brushes and beards? maybe they?ve just got beards, I?m not sure? ?We found this and carbon-dated it to last Tuesday, so we?re very excited??»