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Letter "G" » George Carlin Quotes
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«You can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick!»
«The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.»
«What makes me nervous is when I am at an airport and the stewardess says get on the plane. I say fuck you I'm getting in the plane, it's alot nicer in there.»
«They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.»
«Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.»
« 'We hope you enjoy your stay in Chicago or wherever your final destination may be.' All destinations are final. That's what it means. Destiny: final. If you haven't gotten where you're going, you aren't there yet.»
«What if Alexander Graham Bell's name were Alexander Graham Siren? The phone wouldn't ring, it would GO OFF!! EERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! HELLO! HELLO!!»
«One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.»
«we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.»
«When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?»
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