«Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.»

«A lot has been said about politicians; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate»

«As long as there are innocent nickels to be made from the gullible, Python-starved public, I shall be out there dressed in silly frocks and singing filthy lyrics. I'm coming your way in search of ancient dollars.»

«The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?»

«At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.»

«You look just like you!»

«I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with -- doing television, doing shows every week.»

«No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.»

«We're like his test audience. It's a nightmare for Steve, a terrifying experience. The fact that he's done it before doesn't stop the angst.»

«Nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more»